kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
