No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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