I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
