Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
