Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
