i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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