im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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