so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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