I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
