your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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