There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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