Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
