she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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