I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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