I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
