I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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