Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
