I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
