ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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