Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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