she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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