He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
