franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
