I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
