How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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