i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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