Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
