and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize