I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
