We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
pray to the hookup gods
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
