Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
