Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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