Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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