I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize