Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
