1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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