i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
