Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
