If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
