WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
