The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
