I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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