The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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