Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
