Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
