I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
