I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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