Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
