Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
