dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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