just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
