Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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