i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
