i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
