it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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