Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
