i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
