You're earring is so big in my mouth
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
