people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Couch. On fire.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
