normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
