did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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