I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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