Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You work out of a Hotel?
this just has baby written all over it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
